How to Love Your Husband

Psalm 19
1 The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.

2 Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.

3 There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.

4 Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,

5 Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race.

6 His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.

I sat dumbfounded on my couch recently and wrote something to the effect of “how did 18 years manage to make us silent” in my journal.

It was not a crestfallen, defeated silence I was speaking of, but a lack of words between Kris and I that I selfishly wanted back. I prayed about it, I asked God to show me how to love better and the Scripture above was what He gave me. It was a completely new light that fell on those tattered pages this morning, and I’m ever so grateful.

When I read the first two verses I woke up to their truth. The writer in these passages is encouraging us to see that God’s love and His message of love to us is not a hidden mystery. It is written in the very first thing He did in creation. His presence (His glory) is in the beauty and constant faithful pattern of the heavens and all that we see. There is seemingly no end to it and whether it’s night or day, there is beauty to behold in the great expanse of the universe. It is a constant song of a Father who utterly adores His children. Day after day, night after night, there is light and contrast, beauty and power, and an unyielding rhythm to it’s constancy. Verse three reminded me that whether I ever hear the voice of God in Word or in my ear, I have this unmistakable language of creation to lean on and know that I am loved.

How like a marriage this is. Our vows in the beginning were not meant for repeating, just as God isn’t recklessly recreating our universe anew each day. Our vows were meant to hold the weight of the day to day and be the constant foundation of all that would change around us, and even in us. We love quietly with our words, but we shout loudly as we kick the dust off our feet from the outside world and come home to one another every day that we can. The rhythm of a hard week at work, sung next to the harmony of a home tended and messed up again is the form of faithful we live in right now. The obligations of one, bouncing off the expectations of the other, but finding we haven’t run out of time to hold hands for a minute and make up the bed most days. These are the sky and sea of our marriage, and there is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

When we speak these silent and powerful words to one another faithfully, we send a message. A line goes out like the sun round the earth and I am convinced it is my greatest gift.

Because… when I am faithful to him, faithful to serve, and smile, and give and cherish, and admire, and honor and understand, oh how important it is to understand… I am weaving a tabernacle for him, a shelter, and he is as a bridegroom emerging from his chamber, rejoicing as a strong man to run a race. He goes from one end of the day to the other and nothing is hidden from the impact, the influence, the success he has.

My glory is written in the common occurrence of faithfulness in our marriage. The same is true of his. He diligently and faithfully digs away at the hard ground of commerce. He cultivates and grows a business, and offers me security and honor in fulfilling my dream of doing what I do best and love most, raising our children, educating them, instilling the Word in them without interruption or outside influence.

We offer these gifts without ceremony, only faithful submission to a foundation that will not fail.

One thought on “How to Love Your Husband

  1. My husband makes our bed every day. Ha ha.

    Seriously…your last sentence resonates the most to me. It’s those small things like, a smile, a “good job babe” or “great idea hon’,” praying for him in the morning before he rises, or maybe just a good back scratching are the little things that mean most to him. Un- ceremonial and faithful, done with a spirit submitted to God and him builds a strong foundation in our marriages.

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